Archive for March, 2009

Bingo Is In Fact the First Ring of Hell

s5000288*Slot machines in Vegas Airport*

Even though I live in California, we still have access to casinos. At one particular casino on your birthday you can play Bingo free. You get the type of packet that makes hardcore Bingo goers drool, and as many as you can handle. So you play for free with the idea that maybe you can walk away with at least $50-$1,000. Sounds exciting to a noob like me.

Until I was there for four hours without realizing it. The games started at 6:30 and I didn’t leave the casino until 10:30. I didn’t win a dime, unfortunately. So I’m completely soured by this experience. Plus, I’m not a gambler. I figure every day I wake up I’m playing the odds against life. The next time I close my eyes and go to sleep I’m rolling the dice and my luck might change at any moment.

The high point: I got to see diehard gamblers in action. Talk about desperation. It’s thick in the air. Everytime someone called out Bingo the whole room seemed to moan. And, the atmosphere that this casino was another planet i.e. the first ring of hell, is that the moment you walk in your slapped with an invisible hand of cigarette smoke. To explain I live in California. In order to have a smoke you are confined to a small area where people get to stop by, point at you and laugh. Okay, not really, but it feels that way. So to go inside a building and smoke is apparent is a throw back to the days where Denny’s had a smoking section.

Once you are inside you can’t tell what time of day it is. Let me put it this way, if the world was to ever end I would go to a casino for shelter. They have their own economic system with food supplies.

At the same time it’s sad. Some people were there just to see if they could win. Other’s were hoping, praying to win. Their life, in those hours, depended on getting a Bingo.

Have you ever gone to a casino

March 31, 2009 at 5:03 pm 6 comments

1985 the Bestest Year Ever

1985 was an incredible year. Here’s are some well known or not so well known facts about this wonderful year.

Madonna’s Like A Virgin is the number one album and single simulataneously. My mom will never admit to this, but “Material Girl” was playing on the radio when I made my first world-wide appearance.

“Start Spreading the News” New York, New York becomes a hit in New York.

Care Bears release their first movie.

Back to the Future is released. ‘Nuff Said.

Oh, one can’t forget…A brain, and an athlete, and a basketcase, a princess and a criminal.

Prince and The Revolution. Who I might add inspired Tipper Gore to start something called Parental Adversary Labels. No this is not another attempt for the Gore’s to say they “created” something.

This one I can’t blame her. Catching my 12 year old singing “I met her in a hotel lobby, masturbating to a magazine.” I’d go batshit crazy too.

A star was born around 5 o’clock in the afternoon.
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A sidenote to this unknown fact: I stole that tiara from a five year old child and wore it on my birthday last year. It had a princess on it. It had to be done.

Okay, if that wasn’t enough to swing you to my way of thinking, here is another unknown fact about how great this year was. YouTube was born. Here’s the proof.

March 30, 2009 at 12:59 pm 12 comments

Confessions of a Romance Author: Writer Crazy Edition

I don’t know how long since I last confessed. It just felt time to do so.

confessional1

This here post are for the readers out there who thinks there favorite writer is sane. I’m sorry to inform you, we, as a whole, are not. Here’s a list of examples:

1. Everyone daydreams…Writers can get lost in a daydream. Depending on the thought or character we can start to cry out of no where. It can be in our car, waiting in line at the grocery store, or at the doctor’s office. We can also laugh at the oddest times. Just ask my children.

2. Okay, let’s just say it, we spend hours of our free time with imaginary people. Doctor’s prescribe drugs for this. 

3.  We hear these imaginary people in our heads, talking to us or to other characters.

4. To piggy back off of number 3…You may not be aware fo the whole crazy rule when it comes to talking to yourself. Well, the old adage is that you aren’t crazy if you don’t argue back. I and many other writers argue with those “voices” back. Ex:

Character: I’m not doing that.

Writer: Yes, you are. I have it written down in the synopsis that you are supposed to do this in this chapter.

Character: No. Not doing it. You can’t make me.

Writer: I will you off.

Character: Ha. You can’t I’m the heroine of this story. You kill me, end of story, literally.

Writer: You are doing it.

Character: Fine. I just won’t talk to you anymore.

Writer: Fine.

….five days later. Writer grovels and apologizes to character.

Character: Look’s like someone couldn’t get their word count.

Writer: No need to get on your high horse.

Yes, writer crazy.

5. The last example should be proof enough, but lets continue…We lie to ourselves all the time. Now the type of lie is contingent on where we are at in the writing process. I know for me during the first draft of any story I tell myself I am the greatest writer who has ever walked the Earth. It’s complete rubbish, but it’s the lie I tell myself to get to the end. The funny thing here is that I don’t read what I’ve already written. I don’t let myself do that ’cause reality will set in that I am not the greatest writer that in fact what I’ve been slaving over is craptastic at best. If I let myself think about the market, heck just about the amount of revisions I’ll have to do none of my stories will ever get written.

The other types of lies is that I will get published. No one knows this. We just have a hope that we will get published.The cold hard reality is that there are thousands of writers out there and less than a fourth of those writers will see their work in print. This never crosses our minds. Okay, sometimes when we have the “I suck” mantra going, but most times we are in LaLa land.

This last one is pretty much a whooper full of crazy. But, of course there is one, without this crazy I wouldn’t have a single book on my shelf. I wouldn’t have the opportunity to lose myself in someone else’s world. So writer’s keep your crazy.

Wanna add some in the comments? Go ahead.

March 27, 2009 at 5:46 pm Leave a comment

Birthday Is Back on the Schedule

Funny how one thing can shift you back into focus. I’m not a dweller. Nor do I wallow. Not that it’s a waste of time, it has it’s place. It’s that I’m always reminded by fate, the universe what have you life can be much, much, much worse.

Finally, for the first time this year my life seemed to be on track I, of course, get side-swiped.

This unfortunate event made me realize life is too short to have an on-going pity party. Not saying I don’t deserve one. Oh, I so deserve one. *My school told me I can’t graduate in May unless the Dean waives the 3 units Elective course–THAT I AM ENROLLED IN–because it isn’t in the 2006  college catalog i.e. doesn’t coincide with my certificate.*

So, I’m going to party on the 30th like it is 1999. Matter of fact I’m going to start the party today. A glass of wine sounds good. Oh, and a pie since I hate cake.

Come party with me.

March 25, 2009 at 1:20 am 8 comments

Collage: Sin, Lynne, Sin

This morning I went to my local chapter meeting. Stacey Kane was teaching us about storyboarding. It wasn’t until she started explaining the process that my little heart went pit-a-patter. What she called storyboarding, I call collaging.

Magazines covered every table. I just about died. And this is my story visually: *I even got the Suicide Suzie into the collage. YAY!  (the dog)*

s5001919

March 22, 2009 at 12:50 am 3 comments

Mentor Program: Learning to Write Again

Old habits die hard is a saying for a reason.

 I’ve been hitting a wall with just the first 8 pages of my story trying to think BIG. Now, think of BIG while doing jazz hands and you will get how mythical this word has become in my mind. For so long I’ve written my contemporary romances a certain way. I’ve written my women’s fiction to get away from those imaginary constraints I’ve put on myself. And, even have written an YA to get away from the constraints I’ve put on myself with both genres.

The wall I’m now hitting is learing to write with a different frame of mind when it comes to CR. Big. Jazz hands, BIG. I’m finally getting the room to go in depth with my characters and I have no idea how to do it. I’ve gotten good with getting in and getting out with my point that staying around for a few thousand words longer is killing me. I’m constantly thinking, but I’ve just made my point in 100 words or less. Writing series romance is definitely a gift I know I have.

But, the question comes down to can I write Single Title. Can I write, BIG, Jazz hands, BIG, and still keep my reader interested.

GAH!!!! We’ll see. For those who write Single Title leave some tips. For those who write Series i.e. short romances with a lot of punch, tell me do you want to spread your wings. Or, if you are a reader tell me what do you think of both. Why do you read either and do you find known series authors Single Title romances lacking?

March 18, 2009 at 9:35 am 4 comments

I’m Rescheduling My Birthday

WARNING CRABBY PATTY POST:

Everything that could have gone wrong this year has gone wrong this year. I made a foolish prayer–just don’t let anyone I love die. I should have covered all my bases with that prayer. Don’t let my computer crash, don’t make my children go hormonally insane. You know small stuff that can add up and make a reasonable person insane.

So, just in the past five days:

1. I got hit with a staph infection. Now, of course, this is me who gets it. Monk, wannbe. Not only that it manifested itself on my hip.

This deserves sub-parts:

A.  After sitting several hours in the doctors office, my doctor turns to the nurse and says, “I’m going to need to make an incession.”

I gasp, “What?”

She turns to me with a smile. “I should have told you first. I’m going to need to make an incession. We probably won’t go out for drinks after this.”

And, I’m not being snarky when I paraphrase this.

B. You guys should know I have a high tolerance for pain. This also means I have a high tolerance when it comes to drugs. They probably thought I was a dope addict. Every deep thrust with their evil little q-tip I was squeaking out, “I feel that, and it’s not a pinch.”

C. Due to this infection I needed to be prescribed high powered anti-biotics. And, of course my insurance had lasped and I had to turn in all my paperwork over again. WHICH means I had to pay for my prescription with the promise of reimbursement.

D. The same prescription I had to fork money over for gave me a rash. WHICH means a new presciption, and a new exchange of money.

2. I appealed my financial aid–since I had been there before Moses and you have to appeal it after attmepting 90 units and trust me I attempted more than 90 units–I was approved for the spring and summer semesters. I got my Pell Grant check. I then realize I’m supposed to get my Cal Grant. YAY! Only to find out the economy sucks serious butt and can they give me an IOU. So, this is for every person, expert, PR blow hard, saying the economy is just in a “recession” BITE ME!! The amount of money I paid in taxes last year would easily cover the money I’m supposed to get. Remove your head from your butts and fix this. I’m willing to help, but first can a sister get her Cal Grant?

3. I got a letter stating my house is dirty and they will need to do a health and safety inspection. Are you kidding me? Did you not see most of the crap on the floor were clothes and toys? And, seriously, you should have stopped a few weeks ago when I was incubating bacterial terrioritst in my kitchen sink.

4. Don’t get me started about school. And the two mid-terms I took. One that took actual brain space. And one that was open book. Of course the professor didn’t tell us beforehand it was open book. I could have used those hours of studying cleaning my damn house.

To conclude my rant, I’m rescheduling my birthday to May 30th. School will be over. My children on a plane to North Carolina for 6 weeks. My plan to crash a certain conference in place. Believe me when I say Mai Tais will be had by all.

And in case you were wondering, yes, you can totally reschedule your birthday.

March 16, 2009 at 7:46 pm 11 comments

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