Archive for May, 2007


I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean last night. Loved it. Now many people boo-hooed the movie. I can see why. It didn’t have your typical HEA at least that the theory I came up with.

This expectation can kill or boost your sales as an author. If your readers have come to expect a certain story or characters and you don’t provide this, you’ll feel it in your sales. Best example I can think of is Northen Lights by Nora Roberts. I personally loved this book, but since the heroine more or less jumped the hero by chapter five, it dealt with depression, and the Mom was a bimbo–a lot of reviewers boo-hooed this particular book. The negative side, is a book that meets every expectation. So much so you could tell the ending to your friend without ever finishing the book.

What I try to do is put a flip to the expectation. To bad I’m not the first person to think of this idea, because I’d bottle it and sell it out the back of my trunk.

I digress. The moral of this post is that I SAID NEVER isn’t at all what I expected. This book is going to make me dig really deep inside myself. I thought I was writing a straight-laced romance. It’s not, but what good romance novel is? My hands shake a little before I open up the word document. Strangely, as a writer that’s a good sign.

Maybe later I’ll have to argue the point that a first person romance isn’t necessarily chick-lit. (now and days calling your book that is the kiss of death.)


May 30, 2007 at 2:40 am Leave a comment


My weekend started off with a puff of smoke. I decided to park in the back of my apartment’s near the trashcan. I come outside with my son and I see smoke billowing out of the garbage area. I’m not really freaked out because it wasn’t enough smoke to make me think raging fire in a matter of seconds. At the same time all big fires starts off small.

I see what’s burning. It’s a book. Already the culprit is on my shit list. I debate whether I should call the fire department. I rather not call 911 for something that isn’t life threatening. But I’m a writer and as I stand there my mind starts to run what if’s in my brain. There is trash all around and I’m seeing in my mind it catching fire and coming home from grocery shopping. I can see my apartment complex engulfed in flames.

I groan, still not ready to call the fire department. My solution is to fill up a cup of water and toss it on the smoldering book. Steam blows at me, exciting my son and making me scream.

I stare down the book hoping for it to magically to stop smoking. I turn to leave and think about the fact I don’t have renter’s insurance and what if it comes out that I saw the smoldering book that started the wild fire that burnt down the complex and I did nothing.

I break down and call the fire department. Repeating to the operator, “If my water hose reached, seriously I wouldn’t be calling.”

Of course the finest of the finest come to my rescue. I would have felt bad if they were all suited up to fight my “fire”.

Needless to say I was in acute danger of being Too Stupid To Live. They broke out a water back put out my fire. The guy in charge turns to the one with the water pack and says, “Do you feel satisfied that this fire is out?”

He says, “Yes.”

Then the head guy replies, “Everyday you are going to face life and death. Today is not one of those days, but good job.”

At this point I’ve feel like I have an I.Q. of -450 but that’s okay because every day as a writer I get new material to write about. And this is definitely going in a book some day.

May 29, 2007 at 6:50 pm Leave a comment


Over on Crusie/Mayer Workshop the coolest and one and only Jennifer Crusie had offered for us to write the first lines of our novels. The exercise was to see how effective they were. The whole idea is if we had only our first sentence to sell our book could we?

Do you hear me hyperventaliting? One Sentence and the first sentence at that.

The myth is the first sentence is the number one reason all newbie authors fail to ever begin writing. They sit and have a staring contest with the cursor until they throw up their hands in frustration. Thankfully, before this exercise I wasn’t afflicted with this particular sydrome, it’s medical name–scaredshitless.

But I digress, she gave us leeway and let us use at least the first few lines. Here are mine from PROTECTING DELLA:

Della woke up drenched in sweat from the same dream she’d been having for the past week. Murder–the word screamed loud in her head. She squeezed her eyes shut. It didn’t help. The blood, there was so much of it in her dreams.

These are from HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO BET?:

Neil Sullivian shook back the mass of curls that crowned her head, plainly speaking, it was avoidance. Being done meant getting ready for her date. The prospect didn’t excite her, but if she shook back her hair one more time she’d might suffer from a whiplash.

These few lines would make or break my chances for getting published. If I can’t pull the editor in with at least the first few lines, I’m screwed. I can’t take the pressure!

Despite this information the one important thing is to just WRITE. You can change your first line a million times in a book, but you only get one chance to write THE END and mean it. Trust me it’s the most wonderful feeling. So stare down your cursors and write your heart out.

May 25, 2007 at 9:54 pm Leave a comment

WHY NEWBIE AUTHOR SHOULDN’T: read book reviews

For the past week I’ve been overindulging on book reviews, but just not any book reviews, bad ones. This includes Mrs.Giggles and Smart Bitches who Love Trashy Novels. Wading through at least 50 book reviews that either had low scores or a D/F rating I felt like a manic depressive. I laughed, I cried, I winced often and said ouch for the author. Some of the books I had read and wholeheartedly agreed on the reviewers’ opinion.

So you ask why should a newbie author never read these types of reviews?

These reviews were honestly harsh. The characters or plot were unbelievable, characterization inconsistent, yet neither editor or author caught this. If not all, but most of the reviewed books had big name publishers backing them. This scares me a lot.

When do you know what you are writing is crap? It likes like walking around with your skirt tucked in your underwear and no one tells you. Yikes! Not only that every word you write you start to second guess yourself. Is this contrived? Am what I’m saying taboo and by writing this am I going make a reviewer rabid and trash the hell out of my book. Worst whether the reviewer has credentials or not it truly doesn’t matter. Their opinion is out there labeling my heroine TSTL, pointing out the holes in my plot, recognizing my hero as a horny toad with no brain.

I know, I know, one person may foam at the mouth talking about my book and someone else will love it. You can’t make everyone happy and you should write what you believe in your heart and damn the naysayers. But what if I put out the book equivalent to THE BRIDE OF CHUCKY.

My stomach knots at the thought. Yes, I know I’m putting the buggy before the horse. I’m worrying about something that hasn’t even happened yet or will ever happen. How about I sell a book first before I start to worry if I’ve put out a crappy book.

All in all, this is why a newbie author shouldn’t read bad book reviews.

May 24, 2007 at 6:38 pm Leave a comment

Napoleon Dynamite

When you think of that name you probably come up with the image of him on the couch with the nasty curled hair. Ick!

In the second photo I see him as the sexy nerd with beautiful eyes. Or I just may be hopeless and haven’t got the memo yet.

Back to the schduled programming and since I’ve finally discovered how to add pics to my post, more pictures. I’m going way out there with I SAID NEVER. I grew up in church and anything dealing with the true woo-woo side of humanity isn’t kosher. So being the rebel that I am I decided my character is going to get her cards read. As in a Tarot Reading. I researched my eyeballs out and here’s one card I came up with, JUSTICE. This particular card says a lot about my heroine’s past. Some of the key words that at times describes this card is Coldness, Analysis, Distance. Those few words are going to help me understand my character and how she interacts with her family. I’m still can’t really see the hero. I don’t even have a name for him yet. As of today his name is Rugged Man. At the moment his occupation is going to be that of a landscaper. Since I’m a panster nothing is set in stone until THE END. Since I’ve only written up to ten pages double spaced, I’ve a ways to go.

May 24, 2007 at 1:56 am Leave a comment

Yes, I know. I’m Posting Again!

Okay this is entirely my fault. I’m a blog addict and I’m a sucker for people who make me laugh and have a wonderful writing voice, oh and d#ck pics. If you don’t know what I mean then you have never clinked on my Bad Dates link on my blog roll. Well, anyway I’ve been tagged. I now must divulge to the 2 people who read my blog

1. 14 days out the month my room is littered with clothes. It’s somewhat like when the birds fly south. Everyone’s clothes are in my room. With my schedule I can’t keep up. (I know if I blogged less I’d have the time. Geesh, you didn’t have to point it out.)

2. When I was in the 3rd grade I was the tallest kid in class. Let’s skip to now I’m still the same height. 5 feet even. I need my mother’s permission to get on the teacups at Disney Land.

3. I wrote the first word in my first novel on September 13th exactly one month after my son was born. I watched the season premire of Oprah’s Dream Series. I cried like a baby when that girl got her dream to go to college. I realized that day I needed to write. There was nothing stopping me. I think at 4:59 I started to write and haven’t stopped since.

4. I graduated a year early from high school.

5. I was 14 when I had my daughter. (pick up your jaw deary)

6. The first Sex in The City episode I watched was the very last show. I now faithfully watch it ON Demand. I can’t get enough of it.

7. I think Napoleon Dynomite(sp?) is sexy as hell. Scandolous, I know, but have you seen him in the commercial for MTV’s movie awards with Susan Silverman?

I would tell you why I think he’s sexy but I’ll save that one for the next time I’m tagged.

May 23, 2007 at 5:36 am 3 comments


Someone hit me with a clue stick. Okay, thanks. I thought THE BOOK was going to test me as a writer. WRONG,WRONG,WRONG. Given the fact this is my second post in one day should tell you something. I’m 2,000 word in my new book and realize I’ve bitten off more than I could chew with this first person POV. Using my relationship analogy from an earlier post, this is the second date gone horribly wrong. I’m finding out the guy I’m really like is married, has a strange bump on the side of his mouth, and every time he coughs he’s really trying to cover up a fart.

But I’m not a quitter. This book is not going to make me turn tail and run. I’m up for the challenge.

Someone give me two shots of tequilla.

Did I say that out loud? Anyway, besides abusing the hell out of I things are going well. Just in case if I don’t make it tell my kids that I love them.

May 23, 2007 at 2:37 am Leave a comment

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