I’m Rescheduling My Birthday

March 16, 2009 at 7:46 pm 11 comments


Everything that could have gone wrong this year has gone wrong this year. I made a foolish prayer–just don’t let anyone I love die. I should have covered all my bases with that prayer. Don’t let my computer crash, don’t make my children go hormonally insane. You know small stuff that can add up and make a reasonable person insane.

So, just in the past five days:

1. I got hit with a staph infection. Now, of course, this is me who gets it. Monk, wannbe. Not only that it manifested itself on my hip.

This deserves sub-parts:

A.  After sitting several hours in the doctors office, my doctor turns to the nurse and says, “I’m going to need to make an incession.”

I gasp, “What?”

She turns to me with a smile. “I should have told you first. I’m going to need to make an incession. We probably won’t go out for drinks after this.”

And, I’m not being snarky when I paraphrase this.

B. You guys should know I have a high tolerance for pain. This also means I have a high tolerance when it comes to drugs. They probably thought I was a dope addict. Every deep thrust with their evil little q-tip I was squeaking out, “I feel that, and it’s not a pinch.”

C. Due to this infection I needed to be prescribed high powered anti-biotics. And, of course my insurance had lasped and I had to turn in all my paperwork over again. WHICH means I had to pay for my prescription with the promise of reimbursement.

D. The same prescription I had to fork money over for gave me a rash. WHICH means a new presciption, and a new exchange of money.

2. I appealed my financial aid–since I had been there before Moses and you have to appeal it after attmepting 90 units and trust me I attempted more than 90 units–I was approved for the spring and summer semesters. I got my Pell Grant check. I then realize I’m supposed to get my Cal Grant. YAY! Only to find out the economy sucks serious butt and can they give me an IOU. So, this is for every person, expert, PR blow hard, saying the economy is just in a “recession” BITE ME!! The amount of money I paid in taxes last year would easily cover the money I’m supposed to get. Remove your head from your butts and fix this. I’m willing to help, but first can a sister get her Cal Grant?

3. I got a letter stating my house is dirty and they will need to do a health and safety inspection. Are you kidding me? Did you not see most of the crap on the floor were clothes and toys? And, seriously, you should have stopped a few weeks ago when I was incubating bacterial terrioritst in my kitchen sink.

4. Don’t get me started about school. And the two mid-terms I took. One that took actual brain space. And one that was open book. Of course the professor didn’t tell us beforehand it was open book. I could have used those hours of studying cleaning my damn house.

To conclude my rant, I’m rescheduling my birthday to May 30th. School will be over. My children on a plane to North Carolina for 6 weeks. My plan to crash a certain conference in place. Believe me when I say Mai Tais will be had by all.

And in case you were wondering, yes, you can totally reschedule your birthday.


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

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11 Comments Add your own

  • 1. SLC Slave Driver  |  March 16, 2009 at 7:56 pm

    There are people who tell you that your house needs to be cleaned?


    I quit having birthdays…too damn old now anyway.

    Feel better.

  • 2. kristy  |  March 16, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    Poor thing. Although even in your bad times you are still straight to the point and rather funny. I love ya and if you need to call and talk I can help or at least listen. You have done it for me for years. I need to pay ya back. And rescheduling your b-day will be cool. Cause then we will be free from the horrendous torture of the evil trolls at school.

  • 3. Melissa Blue  |  March 17, 2009 at 3:14 am

    Yes, Slave it’s one of the downsides where I live. Other than that no complaints.

  • 4. Melissa Blue  |  March 17, 2009 at 3:14 am

    *hugs* I just had a quick bitch fest session, but who knows. I might take you up on it tomorrow.

  • 5. watcat  |  March 17, 2009 at 10:14 am

    Hi this blog is great I will be recommending it to friends.

  • 6. Denise  |  March 18, 2009 at 7:30 am

    You have the right to bitch. It is a free country. I think you also have the right to change your birthday. Go for it. You deserve a little free time for your birthday after the hell week you have had. Beside you quick having birthdays when you reach my age. So enjoy it why you can. Hope you have a better week ahead of you.

  • 7. Lyn  |  March 19, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    Okay. I’m rescheduling my birthday for sometime in 1983.

    Sometimes doesn’t BIG just mean more supporting characters?

    And, when those roving house inspectors come to my door–where the hell is that baseball bat? They won’t get to the next house, for sure. Of course, that will leave me with one more big mess on the floor. Rats.

    Yes! Let the rats take care of it.

  • 8. Melissa Blue  |  March 19, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    Yes, BIG can mean more supporting characters. BUT given I have a cast of thousands in my series type romances that definition doesn’t apply. *I believe I had 11 supporting characters in SMR* Now the difference would be them having their own POV and arch.

    Also, in my head BIG means way more in depth with the characters. With only 50k to write a romance that is believeable you have to mince words. You don’t get the chance to make the novel sweeping. You just make it appear that way. I don’t want to call it a slight of hand, but it’s making the reader fill in the empty spaces with a few words. BIG, you use those words.

    Or, really I’m just speculating. Maybe I’ll have a better hold on BIG once I write this chapter.

  • 9. Melissa Blue  |  March 19, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    HI, Denise!!!

  • 10. Simonn  |  March 22, 2009 at 1:28 am

    Great post, but its a bit long and most people like short and sweet posts!

  • 11. HotWomen  |  March 26, 2009 at 6:48 am

    Very Nice Post. I love it. Have a Great day.

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