That’s It, I’m Writing A Paranormal-Futuristic-Interracial-Erotic Romance

April 14, 2009 at 5:33 am 14 comments

So here’s the pitch:

One day my heroine is walking in the woods when a werewolf jumps from behind a redwood and bites her. She starts having these strange, erotic dreams where she turns all furry and has hot fangy sex with a strange wild animal. This wild animal has white fur compared her to black fur.

By the end of the week, she starts to sniff the men around her, and that’s when she realizes “I’m in heat”. She decides to visit the mad scientist on the edge of town. He tells her he can help.

He sends her into space. Her craft lands on a strange planet where–you’ve guessed it–werewolves live. All shades of fur, but then she sees the one she’s been having erotic dreams about. She knows his scent and knows she must mate. Now.

They do. She ends up expecting and they live happily ever after.

THE END

No, I haven’t fallen off my rocker. I read this blog post about what’s really selling, at least at Samhain. I figured I’d give you an example of what not to do just to sell.

BUT, if you do find yourself with a story you are passionate about it won’t hurt…

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Entry filed under: being published, books, contract, doubt, genre, in jest, Uncategorized.

What is Sexual Tension? Uh, Universe, Thanks I got the Memo

14 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Diana McCabe  |  April 14, 2009 at 6:22 am

    I should start reading Samhain blog, eh? Nope. I have no desire to write one of these. I’m just interested in covering the authors/agents/publishers etc. in this paranormal genre. Any ideas? People who would be fun to pester? Send ’em my way ….. my sad little blog is http://www.paranormalromance.wordpress.com ……

    Yup — just a fan. (Financial journalist by trade ….. )

    Diana
    SoCal

  • 2. Marilyn Brant  |  April 14, 2009 at 6:29 am

    LOL!! You had me at “hot fangy sex” :-). Off to check out the link! And thanks for saying such nice things about my cover on Pam’s blog–I appreciated that!!

    Are you planning on going to the conference in D.C.?? I’m hoping there’ll be a Cherry reunion :).

  • 3. Melissa Blue  |  April 14, 2009 at 4:55 pm

    Welcome and nice blog space.

    Also, the easiest way to get traffic to your blog is to blog hop. Plus, you might find some gems.

  • 4. Melissa Blue  |  April 14, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    Marilyn it wasn’t a hardship to say something nice. It’s a beautiful cover. Make sure to take plenty of pictures when it arrives on your doorstep.

  • 5. Melissa Blue  |  April 14, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    To answer your question. I’m definitely not going to conference, but I may be in the area. Depends on the finances.

  • 6. Pamela Cayne  |  April 14, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    And what about the classic “Vampire Lesbian Nun” that Jenny always talks about–sounds like you two could start a new sub-genre!!!

  • 7. SLC Slave Driver  |  April 14, 2009 at 9:45 pm

    Oh, you know, I see so many issues with this new genre of yours Mel…First, PETA will be all over you for the ruthless exploitation of Were-people- making a financial gain on the backs of those poor defenseless humanimals. Not to mention the fact that they are wearing fur, even if it is their own.

    Then, SETI will not be pleased with the implied rape of the life sustaining planets and their inhabitants in other galaxies. Also, both the tree huggers and the loggers will take issue with the “woods” setting. Does your heroine displace any spotted owls during her carefree stroll? And has she trespassed onto any land currently under contract for the logging/mining/mineral rights?

    And let us not forget that the term “Mad Scientist” is sooo totally not PC. It’s derogatory; I believe they prefer the term “Off the Beaten Path Scientist”, or, if they are on a reality show on MTV, “Crazy-Mo-Fo Scientist.”

    I have to get back to work on my newest masterpiece. It’s about a Irascible Vegan-Vampire Dog who uses sign language to teach a recovering drug addict that time travels how to be a chef on the planet Cybercrock. I plan on including recipes. The only ingredients are rocks, tofu and cumin.

    Have a great day, Mel. 😉

  • 8. Melissa Blue  |  April 14, 2009 at 11:05 pm

    I did leave out what the heroine did to the rabbit while in the woods…

    As for your Irascible Vegan-Vampire Dog, well, it sounds promising.

  • 9. C.  |  April 15, 2009 at 1:11 am

    LOL — love the pitch.

    If you weren’t aiming for Samhain, I’d say perhaps you’d need to write a YA with either furries or fangs (or better yet, both) since every agent out there seems to want to find the next Twilight. YA is so hot right now, it’s almost nauseating.

  • 10. Ella Drake  |  April 15, 2009 at 1:30 am

    You know, I like the plot. I think you should write it after getting my hopes up like that.

  • 11. LaurenJohnson  |  April 15, 2009 at 1:33 am

    Can I be your beta reader? Really I think it’s the fur that’s got me going or maybe the hot fangy sex 😛

    And seriously I want my brain back… I came all the way here just to tell you that.

  • 12. Melissa Blue  |  April 15, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    I did write a YA, unfortunately no fangs or fur. But there is a Shadow Manipulator as the bad guy.

    Long story. Don’t ask.

  • 13. Melissa Blue  |  April 15, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    Ella, as I said on the boards I just might.

  • 14. Melissa Blue  |  April 15, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    Yes, you can Beta Read, Lauren.

    You may not have your brain back. I’m currently using it.

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