Dear Morning,

February 18, 2009 at 4:47 pm 23 comments

We’ve had a long, rocky relationship since I was born.  Truly, you are the Spawn of Satan. You come all bright and cheery. You always come too soon.  Did you not get the memo? Only a handful of people like you, but that doesn’t deter you from coming out, every, single day.

God, I still remember when I lived next door to a rooster. You almost caused the murder of innocent animal. Do you not feel any shame? Do you not care I suffer every time you come around? It’s a deep suffering that only coffee and griping until your sister comes along–noon.

*Le sigh*

Go ahead. Ignore my plea. Yeah, you morning. I see you there streaming through my window without a care.  Cheery, once again. Spawn of Satan. One day I will defeat you. I will wake up and flip you the birdy with my own cheeriness.

Until then I must fortify myself with more caffefine. You evil, evil Spawn.

Sincerely,

Melissa Blue

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23 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jen  |  February 18, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    Amen sistah, AMEN. *stumbles toward coffee pot*

  • 2. Melissa Blue  |  February 18, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    Jen, I’m on the refill. Slightly human, but not quite.

  • 3. Slave Driver  |  February 18, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    And this would be the reason why, when I work late into the night, I sleep in my “cave”; A guestroom in the basement, with the window wells covered with old throw rugs too keep the evil ball-o-fire away.

    Pitch.Black.

    PS. Tinfoil on the windows works well also, and it keep “them” from reading your thoughts.

  • 4. Melina  |  February 18, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    It’s about time somebody confronted morning. Way to go Mel, couldn’t have said it better myself.

    When my mom says good morning to me, on the phone or in person, I always reply with, “Yeah? What’s so good about it?” And she actually has the nerve to answer me! She’s a morning person (yeah, I know. . .) and calls her mornings “precious.” Apparently, morning cheeriness isn’t a genetic trait.

  • 5. kristy  |  February 18, 2009 at 7:12 pm

    i totally understand the worst part is when your own minnie me is the complete opposite and loves the Mornin’ like mine does. I have the greates sign in my room, it says,
    I THINK I’M ALLERGIC TO MORNINGS!

    that should be our new motto. c-ya tonight.

  • 6. Ilana  |  February 18, 2009 at 7:31 pm

    Black paint works wonders too. So I keep threatening.

    Years ago the sunlight started waking up my baby. Daylight savings time/spring ahead had me installing roller blinds the next day.

    I married a morning guy and my first son is just like him.
    Neither can relate to my youngest’s cries of despair when said husband rips open his curtains in the morning. Poor thing. I understand.

  • 7. Kate Pearce  |  February 18, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    I love mornings, I am at my best about 6:30 a.m when I come into your bedroom all chatty and cheery and…annoying.

    Of course when you were kids, I used to serenade you with show tunes until one of you threatened to kill me. and the others all agreed.

    I don’t understand it myself 🙂

    But don’t ask me to be chirpy after 4 pm, I’m off until 6 then. LOL

  • 8. Edie  |  February 18, 2009 at 10:59 pm

    Too funny. I’m almost afraid to tell you I like the morning sun.

  • 9. Melissa Blue  |  February 19, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    Slave in the morning’s there is no need to put foil on the windows…I don’t have any thoughts worth reading.

  • 10. Melissa Blue  |  February 19, 2009 at 5:26 pm

    Apparently, morning cheeriness isn’t a genetic trait.

    I believe it’s a given one is supposed to give birth to an opposite personality.

    And, yes, morning did deserve it.

  • 11. Melissa Blue  |  February 19, 2009 at 5:27 pm

    Pumpkin is your saving grace. Without her you wouldn’t have any optimism. Even now it’s in short supply. But that just makes you more interesting.

  • 12. Melissa Blue  |  February 19, 2009 at 5:28 pm

    Neither can relate to my youngest’s cries of despair when said husband rips open his curtains in the morning. Poor thing. I understand.

    I’m sorry, you’re in the minority at your house. My daughter is the odd girl out. I ask her every day, “Why are you talking to me in the morning? You know I don’t hear a word you say?”

    I think my daughter and morning are in cahoots.

  • 13. Melissa Blue  |  February 19, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    Kate, because I like you I won’t banned you from the blog.

    Just tell me one thing, how do you do it?

  • 14. Melissa Blue  |  February 19, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    Okay now I’m convinced. Edie, Kate and My daughter are in cahoots with morning.

  • 15. Ms. Mother  |  February 19, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    You are so funny,

    I wonder which gene pool you got your wit???
    mother or father

  • 16. Ma BLue  |  February 19, 2009 at 9:02 pm

    Funny, Funny,
    I don’t speak to anyone until, I’ve had my morning cup of Joe

  • 17. Melissa Blue  |  February 20, 2009 at 3:32 am

    OMG!!!! Hi, Mom. You ended up in the Spam folder that’s why you couldn’t see your message. And you know why I’m funny. I was raised by you and father. I was bound to be crazy.

    AND DO NOT READ ANY OTHER POST SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!

  • 18. Lia Morgan  |  February 20, 2009 at 4:08 am

    It isn’t just mornings, I hate daytime all together. I have worked nights for the last six years, I love it. The worst thing about working nights is driving home while the evil sun is rising.

    My drapes are a heavy tapestry with blackout liners. I sleep in a cave. Living underground in a bunker would be a breeze for me.

    And for those days that I simply have to be out and about with the sun, which is daily now that we have kids, the phrase of the day is “Venti Five Shot Americano, please.”

  • 19. Melissa Blue  |  February 20, 2009 at 5:19 am

    “Venti Five Shot Americano, please.”

    LMAO! Mine is “Venti Frap Caramel.”

  • 20. Crystal Jordan  |  February 20, 2009 at 5:55 am

    I like mornings. However, I feel the same way about staying up too late, so I feel your pain. When that evil wench Midnight arrives, I rail at the universe.

  • 21. Dianna  |  February 20, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    I use to feel the same way until I went over to the dark, er… bright, side. Now it’s a good day if I get to sleep until 6am.

  • 22. Melissa Blue  |  February 20, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    Lol, Crystal. I love the night time. Everything goes quiet. My mind is working on all cylinders…beautiful.

    Yeah, had to rub it in.

  • 23. Melissa Blue  |  February 20, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    Diana, how did you cross over? Was it a traumatic experience? Do tell how morning brought you over.

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