Confessions of a Romance Author

December 5, 2008 at 8:54 am 7 comments

confessional1I have no idea how long since I’ve last confessed, but this will be the If I had 26 days left to live edition…*foul language will be used liberally.*

I’d quit my job. I’d tell them how I really felt. I’d surf the internet until the day I left, I wouldn’t even minimize the screen and act like I was doing something they were paying me to do. I’d used all my vacation hours and sick days just for shits and giggles. When I do something that isn’t PC I would say, “What are they going to do, fire me?” because I can. I’d wear jeans and bleach stained t-shirts. Okay, since I don’t have any bleach-stained shirts I’d pour bleach on some, then wear them. Oh, and I’d tell that one employee how much of an asshat I really think they are.

I’d crank call my ex-boyfriends and say, “You will die in the next seven days. Butt munch.”

I’d let my children to eat candy, jump on beds, and hug and love them until the very end. I’d take my son to school just so he can give me goodbye kisses I love so much. I’d let my daughter use the internet to listen to Cheetah Girls songs. I’d tell her I hate them, but on the inside dance ’cause those damn annoying songs are kind of catchy.

I’d celebrate Christmas and be mushy and sentimental. A true sign I’m on my way to the pearly gates. Or I hope the gates or pearly. I haven’t exactly lived a sin-free life nor have I tried to walk a god-like existence. I mean really, the life I’ve had… no angel would convict me…

I’d write in notepads, not on my computers just to feel the words coming from my fingers. There is something so powerful about that. I’d also finish the next book because I love that THE END feeling. It’s a drug and I’m totally addicted.

I’d write La Nora a letter, letting her know the first two books didn’t exactly grab me–out of her Sign of Seven Trilogy–but the last one, totally kicked ass. If I were to keep on living I’d buy all her books until the day she stopped writing or died. And then tell her, “I was the one who followed you the RWA convention 2007.” Hey, she wouldn’t kill a dying person. Or, no, she’d probably would. Have you ever seen her biceps…La Nora could totally kick my arse.

I think outside of all these I’d try to laugh every day. I’m big on laughter. I love making the people around me do it. It’s such a beautiful sound. Laughter can make the most dismal day bearable. The best day, perfect. I’d do it all 26 days, as much as possible.

If you only had 26 days to live what would you do?

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Bless Your Poor, Deluded Heart The Book Gods Must Have Smiled On Me

7 Comments Add your own

  • 1. SLC Slave Driver  |  December 5, 2008 at 9:10 am

    I’m doing, girlfriend. I’m doing it because it’s a dangerous thing just stepping out your front door.

    Life is like a novel with the end ripped out.

  • 2. pamwritesromance  |  December 5, 2008 at 7:36 pm

    Wow–I’m still soaking in your passionate post to even think about myself. You are one fabulous woman!!!

  • 3. Raine  |  December 6, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    Quitting the job would be number one. That is, after I showed up in our little office with a few bottles of champagne, sat at my desk and smoked my ciggies right there, and told my immediate supervisor what an ignorant asshole he was (oh wait, I already did that…).
    I’d cry a little for all the things I’d never have a chance to do, and smile a lot for the things I have done.
    I’d give all my cherished books and cats to folks I loved, because I’d like to know they had nice homes with people who’d care for them/enjoy reading them.
    I’d spend my last few bucks flying to some tropical island, just to sit on a beach and watch the sun rise and set and bask in the gold light.
    Read each of my favorite stories and watch my very favorite flicks one last time.
    And I’d pray and meditate. Cop that last plea. 😉

  • 4. Melissa Blue  |  December 8, 2008 at 6:11 pm

    Life is like a novel with the end ripped out.

    Oh, I absolutely love this. Kind of makes for an interesting living ’cause you still have the power to change that ending.

  • 5. Melissa Blue  |  December 8, 2008 at 6:12 pm

    Thanks, Pam. Sometimes I get cheesy about life and I have to admit I love those moments.

  • 6. Melissa Blue  |  December 8, 2008 at 6:13 pm

    That is, after I showed up in our little office with a few bottles of champagne, sat at my desk and smoked my ciggies right there, and told my immediate supervisor what an ignorant asshole he was (oh wait, I already did that…).

    I would have paid money to see that.

    But here’s a little secret. I did put in my 30 day notice. I’ve never felt so good in my life.

  • 7. Raine  |  December 9, 2008 at 7:28 am

    Mel!
    Congratulations! 🙂

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