“Wise Beyond Your Years”

October 11, 2008 at 3:01 pm 22 comments

I hear this phrase all the time. It’s usually after I reveal my age, so I try not to. But some days I have to buy into the hype. A thought just stuck me this morning how young I was when I started writing. Not speaking in my childhood when I penned stories, but the moment I knew writing was going to be my THING. I was 19. Maybe it’s that young age that made me believe I could do anything. And why in the hell not if I really wanted to do it?

But the older I get, more people I talk to, it’s not so common place to go after your dreams. I have a few theories as to why I’m different, but I know people who have matured fast and still they don’t do the one thing that puts a fire in their soul.

So my question is why don’t most people go for their dreams?

I can understand if your dream is to own your own business. If you don’t have the money to do it then it kind of makes your dream hard to achieve. But then again my mother taught me when there is a will, there is a way.

If you haven’t noticed I like to ponder. And this morning I was thinking about my comfort zones when it comes to writing. People have been tempting me to write erotic and I’m hesitant. First, I’m not even sure I could pull it off and make it believeable. Two, it’s the language that really holds me back. Third, I start to think about how big my dream was to write, so why can’t I swing wide and shoot high when it comes to my writing? I love Fantasy, but I don’t write it. I want to write more complex stories, but I don’t write them. I’m starting to feel like I’ve reached the point in my craft where I can start to push those boundaries, but something is stopping me.

Anyway, I’m just throwing thoughts out there in the ether. (This blog is called Brain Clutter for a reason.)

But you can comment on your theory of why people don’t go after their dreams.

And since this blog is so random…

Isn’t this the best picture? Courtesy of Raine Weaver, who found it elsewhere. I love it.

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Entry filed under: acting debut, anxiety, craft, Crystal Jordan, inspiration, internet surfing, Jennifer Leeland/McKenzie, Loribelle Hunt, musings, Why I write, writing. Tags: .

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22 Comments Add your own

  • 1. edie17  |  October 11, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    I love that picture too! I think most people aren’t as wise as you so young. When I was 19, I didn’t know myself that well. It’s funny you brought this up, because I was just thinking that I’m a late bloomer.

  • 2. Raine  |  October 11, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    I just came to visit my picture. 😉

    No, really…we’ve never met, but you do strike me as ‘wise beyond your years’. An “old soul”, a dear teacher of mine used to call it. Hope it serves you well.

    I think there may be several reasons people don’t go after their dreams. One may be the lack of confidence, the belief that they may actually attain them. And sometimes not trying seems easier than failing.
    There’s also ye olde smackdown, of course. Make a few tentative starts, get the enthusiasm slapped out of you…

    Just a thought.

  • 3. coffeegirl88  |  October 11, 2008 at 4:53 pm

    Why don’t people chase their dreams? You answered your own question. Your mother encouraged you. When you swim alone with your dreams and only you believe in them, it’s hard to achieve them. We all need cheerleaders, some are lucky enough to be born with them, some of us have to find them.

    And then there’s the whole society wants you to just go along to get along and if you’re out there chasing your dreams and standing apart from the crowd then you’re “different” and “different” is “bad.”

  • 4. Amie Stuart  |  October 11, 2008 at 5:56 pm

    I want to write more complex stories, but I don’t write them.

    You will….and I say this from experience. I think it takes a while for our skills to sometimes catch up with our desires. I LOVE fantasy and sci-fi but always said I could never write it–lo and behold I did…same for paranormal though that was more because so much has been done a part of me feels like there’s nothing left to explore–but apparently i found something 😀

    I smell like a douche so I’m off to shower (windows…i was cleaning windows people)

  • 5. Alynn Parr  |  October 11, 2008 at 6:08 pm

    Sometimes our dreams get lost in the clutter of reality.

    I agree with coffeegirl88 about the cheerleaders. I think I’ve found mine!

    Connecting with others who share your dream is empowering.

  • 6. Pam  |  October 11, 2008 at 7:18 pm

    Edie–I’m a late bloomer, too. But, when I was in my teens/early twenties, people always had me pegged as older because they saw me as “more mature.” Nope–just quiet. (Melissa, sorry-should have given you a spew warning there.)

    But as far as the chasing dreams go, it’s hard work, and that’s why I think a lot of people don’t do it. Dreams by their very nature are elusive and hard to grasp, even with a happy ending, so many can’t even see a way to go after them. Writers, on the other hand, craft dreams, and maybe that’s why it’s so much easier for us to go after them. We write about happy endings, so we can see a way to get ours.

  • 7. Melissa Blue  |  October 11, 2008 at 7:48 pm

    It’s funny you brought this up, because I was just thinking that I’m a late bloomer.

    I truly believe it’s never too late. I’ve been encouraging my Dad to do all his heart desires. He’s old enough now not to care what other’s think. I’m just glad I realized it before the gray started to show in my hair.

  • 8. Melissa Blue  |  October 11, 2008 at 8:00 pm

    Raine, I also hope it serves me well, but sometimes it just gets me into trouble.

    Make a few tentative starts, get the enthusiasm slapped out of you…

    Very true. Majority of the writing community is sooo open and willing to help. Not all creative outlets are like that. At the same time I think the NEED to achieve your dream has to be stronger and louder than the naysayers.

  • 9. Melissa Blue  |  October 11, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    And then there’s the whole society wants you to just go along to get along and if you’re out there chasing your dreams and standing apart from the crowd then you’re “different” and “different” is “bad.”

    Definitely. I have people who encourage me and in the same breath don’t understand why I don’t quit because I’m not making Nora Roberts dollars.

    You are right in creating your own support network. People who want the same things you want and are trying to get it.

  • 10. Melissa Blue  |  October 11, 2008 at 8:06 pm

    I think it takes a while for our skills to sometimes catch up with our desires.

    So very true, but I’m at the point where it’s “what to tackle next”. I’m spreading my wings and it’s scary as hell.

    As for smelling like a douche…I’ll just call you Summer’s Eve from now on. 😉

  • 11. Melissa Blue  |  October 11, 2008 at 8:07 pm

    Sometimes our dreams get lost in the clutter of reality.

    Reality is the biggest slap in the face, but true writers keep writing in the face of it. Or at least they start to believe in themeselves enough to change reality. I.E. I keep getting rejections, so I’m going to get a good C.P. to write better books.

  • 12. coffeegirl88  |  October 11, 2008 at 8:12 pm

    Oh, I understand the part about quitting because of the money. Had a boyfriend in college who when he found out the “average” salary for a writer (don’t laugh too hard he actually asked me this) was between zero and thousands, he said I should quit and do something else.

  • 13. Melissa Blue  |  October 11, 2008 at 8:13 pm

    But as far as the chasing dreams go, it’s hard work, and that’s why I think a lot of people don’t do it. Dreams by their very nature are elusive and hard to grasp, even with a happy ending, so many can’t even see a way to go after them.

    I got chills when I read this. This also ties into what Alynn was saying about reality. Wanting to write a novel is cool, but actually sitting down day after day after day until its done is totally different.

    As for writing being more attainable, I have to say it depends on the individual. I have the most incredible ideas for stories, I dream them up in my head and then I write crap that doesn’t resemble those ideas/dreams at all. BUT I love what I’ve written and I shape and mold to what its higest potential. Most times it never resembles what I dreamed up in my head. Yet at the end of the day knowing my dreams will never truly make it on paper, I still do it.

    If that’s just drive, persistence, stubborness, I don’t know.

  • 14. Melissa Blue  |  October 11, 2008 at 8:15 pm

    ….was between zero and thousands, he said I should quit and do something else.>

    Yeah, some people never get the allure. And most people think you make Nora Roberts dollars. I know I showed my friend my last royalty statement and she went on a one woman promotion campaign for me. I love her, ’cause she thinks I’m great and so are my books.

    Definitely have to have cheerleaders.

  • 15. Mya  |  October 12, 2008 at 5:59 pm

    I just love you and your blog. I started with the rejection post because that is where I’m at in my life- query rejections. But I felt I had to respond to this post. Here goes- When I was young I thought i was special and my dreams would come true. Yes I was going to be a famous actress, writer, dancer or whatever. As I grew older, I thought well maybe after my kids get older, then it became when I retire I will write a novel and get published. Well at the age of 45 I decided that I could wait no longer. I wrote my first novel “A Sea of Whispers” but I am still waiting for the famous part. Heck I would even settle for published and very little profit. To answer your question though, I think as we grow up life gets in the way;sad!
    -Mya

  • 16. Melissa Blue  |  October 12, 2008 at 8:35 pm

    To answer your question though, I think as we grow up life gets in the way;sad!

    The older you get the more you realize how much the world really sucks. That’s why I’m confused people don’t take hold of their dreams and hold onto them for dear life. Why deny the one thing that brings you a small piece of happiness.

    But I’m guessing that’s like wanting world peace.

  • 17. Mya  |  October 12, 2008 at 10:41 pm

    Melissa,
    Thank you so much for your comment on my blog. I think you are right I need to start with a bang (action). That will be my project this week.
    Take Care,
    Mya

  • 18. Kristanne  |  October 13, 2008 at 8:28 pm

    That picture is aboslutely amazing!!! I love it!

  • 19. Jen  |  October 13, 2008 at 10:16 pm

    I don’t know about everyone else but for me it was a matter of confidence.
    I didn’t think I was “good enough”. Everything seemed to point to a hum drum life without creativity. The world says “You must work, not dream.’
    I was so lucky to marry a man who said “Why not? Do it!’ And no matter what an ass he sometimes is, I remember he made it possible.
    I admire you. You pursue your dreams against all odds. It’s amazing and I love you for it.

  • 20. Melissa Blue  |  October 14, 2008 at 12:10 am

    You’re welcome, Mya.

  • 21. Melissa Blue  |  October 14, 2008 at 12:10 am

    Kristanne-It is great, isn’t?

  • 22. Melissa Blue  |  October 14, 2008 at 12:12 am

    The world says “You must work, not dream.’

    I just find this depressing, because it is how the world works. People who go for their dreams are seen as crazy and you do get a lot “why are you wasting your time”. I’m glad you went for yours.

    And, I love ya too.

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