A Plead to Law and Order: Criminal Intent

October 1, 2008 at 10:15 pm 13 comments

Dear Law and Order writers, producers, make-up girl, coffee-guy, the networks that shows their reruns, and all the extras,

I don’t know how to say this, so I’ll be blunt: I can’t stand Chris Noth.

Yes, Mr. Big gets on my everlasting nerve. Carrie Bradshaw had every right to beat him with her bouquet. I understand he was in fact a part of the original cast when Criminal Intent first started.But I stand strongly in not looking back.

Seriously, you have a gold-mine in Goren. He’ll never be a hearthrob. I recently saw Men In Black and realize he played the Roach alien, but even then with his face sagging and a pronounced limp “Goren” was brillant.

Now why am I against Chris Noth’s version of Criminal Intent?

The man irritates me on some elemental level. It can’t be explained. It’s kind of like when you meet someone and on sight they become your mortal enemy. Yeah, that’s how I feel about Chris Noth when it comes to Criminal Intent.

And Is it just me or is all his partners redheads?(He’s had about five.)

Goren. Oh, Goren. He smells things. I l live and die by my nose. I’m sure if I lost my sight, I’d be depressed. Yet if I couldn’t smell freshly baked cinnamon rolls I’d find it hard to stay positive. I digress. Goren will bend down and smell the sticky substance around dead body’s mouth. If he were real, he’d known what was on Monica’s dress without a confession.

He has ticks. He’s a genius and most of all he has a tortured past that makes him perfect as a murderer. BUT he remains on the right side of the law.

So, if you missed the point of this open letter I’ll spell it out:

Kill off Chris Noth’s character.  You can even have Goren investigate the murder.

Win-Win.

~ You may return to your regularly scheduled Brain Clutter.

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13 Comments Add your own

  • 1. edie17  |  October 1, 2008 at 11:04 pm

    It’s funny but my husband can’t stand Goren. I think he’s a genius too. I usually watch reruns, so don’t see the shows with Noth’s characters as much. He seemed okay, though. Sorry.

  • 2. coffeegirl88  |  October 1, 2008 at 11:42 pm

    The mighty LO:CI gods have listened and have obeyed. Chris Noth will not be finishing out this new season (if he’s there at all) he is leaving the fold again.

    My question back to you now is, how do you feel about Jeff Goldblum?

  • 3. SLC Slave Driver  |  October 2, 2008 at 12:20 am

    Come on now, Mel, tell us how you really feel… “Edgar” is my favorite space alien, especially when his wife tells him that his skin is sagging and he grabs the back of his skull and pulls to tighten it up.

    I’m watching the Cubs vs Dodgers game. I figure if I yell at them loud enough they might hear me, and win.

  • 4. xfool92  |  October 2, 2008 at 9:41 am

    Noth was not part of the original Criminal Intent cast. He was part of the original Law & Order cast.

    Noth left LOCI on his own, his career in movies getting too big.

    All that said, while he was better on the original Law & Order, he did manage to flill the gap when D’Onofrio suffered from “exhaustion” and had to cut back on the show. So don’t be too hard on Noth. Had he not stepped up to the plate, D’Onofrio may have not been able to keep up with the show alone and he’d be gone.

  • 5. Melissa Blue  |  October 2, 2008 at 3:09 pm

    It’s funny but my husband can’t stand Goren.

    In truth he’s not a very likeable person. I see him as the misunderstood underdog. It’s really how he thinks that makes him the better out of the two.

  • 6. Melissa Blue  |  October 2, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    My question back to you now is, how do you feel about Jeff Goldblum?

    I love this man, but I can’t speak on how well he’s going to fit into the cast. I have to see it for myself before I decide.

    And, wow, the CI Gods work quick.

  • 7. Melissa Blue  |  October 2, 2008 at 3:24 pm

    “Edgar” is my favorite space alien, especially when his wife tells him that his skin is sagging and he grabs the back of his skull and pulls to tighten it up.

    Yeah, that scene cracked me up.

    Also, I’m not sure how yelling at the t.v. will help your team, but stranger things have happened. *You’ve given me the prime example of why I don’t watch sports. I’d suffer from a heart attack yelling, jumping and cursing at the t.v.*

  • 8. Melissa Blue  |  October 2, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    Noth was not part of the original Criminal Intent cast. He was part of the original Law & Order cast.

    You are correct on this point.

    But this I cannot give on: So don’t be too hard on Noth.

    Shoddy acting and poor characterization doesn’t change because he was being “nice” to fill in for D’Onofrio. To a certain extent I can blame the writers for the poor characterization. At the same time if Noth had been a great actor he would have been able to run with it.

    For example: Eames (sp?) doesn’t have a major role in CI, but I get a sense of who she is, the fact she cares deeply about Goren, and that too many times to count she’s saved his ass simply because he’s her partner. Again that can be the writers, but I’m sure the performance would be flat if not for her acting skills.

  • 9. Cindy K. Green  |  October 2, 2008 at 6:36 pm

    LOL Melissa! I love Goren! He’s a brilliant character. D’Onofrio is just a terrific actor in my opinion. I never liked Chris Noth in either of the L&O shows so I will be glad when he’s gone too. 🙂

    Cindy

  • 10. Melissa Blue  |  October 2, 2008 at 9:30 pm

    I never liked Chris Noth in either of the L&O shows so I will be glad when he’s gone too.

    Ha, majority wins.

    The only other series I’m ga-ga over is Pushing Daises (sp?)

  • 11. Erica Orloff  |  October 3, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    Kill him off, I say!

    I love Goren. To me, the best character on TV.

    E

  • 12. Melissa Blue  |  October 4, 2008 at 1:53 am

    Erica, thanks for stopping by for one. And I love Goren. One character that was getting headway into my squee-girl fanclub was Grace from Saving Grace. Now she was a character you could sink your teeth into.

  • 13. heather  |  October 4, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    I love Vincent but Chris is hardly a shoddy actor, just a different character. See his work in other movies. And they were both hot.

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