I’LL NEVER BE JUNE CLEAVER

June 24, 2008 at 1:12 pm 10 comments

Or is it Beaver? Anyway, I’ll never be Martha Stewart either. Hell, I’ll never be my mother who I think went to Mother of the Year University. She’s not perfect, but my mother is fan-tab in my eyes. Now I’d like to say being a writer has diminished my parenting abilities. Nope, my kids were screwed the day they were born.

You don’t believe me?

Case in point:

*sitting at read light*
Not June Cleaver: Idiot, it’s a red light. Red means stop. Jeez.
Little Miss Diva: Yeah!
The 2 foot Comedian: Yeah! Idiot!

Still don’t believe me?

Well, I have a potty mouth. I’ve been trying to curb the need to cuss like a sailor. In my attempts I have created other words to replace them like fudge-sickle and donkey-hole. I’m sure these replacements sound just as bad, but I’m hoping to stop cursing all together. And really I’d rather have my son or daughter say fudge-sickle then you know what. But it’s sad when…

NJC: Sh…*meets son’s gaze and cuts off curse word*
T2FC: Shuckey-duckles, Mommy.
NJC: Yes. Mommy meant to say shuckey-duckles.

So, are there any June Cleaver’s out there?

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Entry filed under: day in the life.

IT’S AGAINST EVERYTHING I BELIEVE IN *sometimes* VERY, VERY, QUIET

10 Comments Add your own

  • 1. raine  |  June 26, 2008 at 3:12 am

    Nope.
    I managed to remain childless, so I can curse like a–er, express my feelings in any way I see fit. 😉

    But I did have nieces and nephews to torture–er, nurture as they grew up. Auntie Raine’s stories weren’t like other fairy tales…

  • 2. moosema  |  June 27, 2008 at 8:05 pm

    OMG … I am SO not June or Martha or anybody else with a domestic bone in her body.

    I managed to keep my language clean for about 12 years, but now that my boys are older, I think nothing of letting a certain bomb fly frequently. Interestingly enough, neither will swear in my presence … I’m not sure why.

    I also let them watch Family Guy and South Park. I tried to forbid it for awhile, but when I found out they’d been watching it in the basement and at friends’ houses, I relented. I don’t like my kids sneaking around behind my back, and I figure if something comes up they don’t understand, we can talk about it. And I think the shows are hilarious.

    My kids are good kids, despite my lacking parenting skills so I’ve decided I can neither take credit or blame as to what kind of adults they become. I just do my best … that’s all any of us can do. The only perfect parents are the ones that don’t have kids.

  • 3. Pam  |  June 27, 2008 at 9:53 pm

    You don’t need to be June Cleaver–you’re Melissa and those kids could not have a better mother! (I offer for the court the recent Tooth Fairy incident for LMD!)

    So you swear now and then–big deal. You love them and care for them and raise them right–that’s a mother. That’s you.

    And you can take that shuckey-duckey to the bank!

  • 4. Mel  |  June 28, 2008 at 12:42 pm

    Raine, you’re probably the best aunt on the block. And really, I’m curious to hear one of your non-fairy tales. It might be a story I want to tell my children one day…

  • 5. Mel  |  June 28, 2008 at 12:44 pm

    I just do my best … that’s all any of us can do. The only perfect parents are the ones that don’t have kids.

    Lol. So, true. I’m sure there is at least a maternal funny bone in your body. That’s the only one that exist in mine. 🙂

  • 6. Mel  |  June 28, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    Smooches, Pam, but I think I’ll still save up for therapy when they get older. 🙂

  • 7. Emma Petersen  |  June 29, 2008 at 5:04 am

    Sadly, I’m allergic to kidlets so I don’t have any. But since my friends (every single last one of them) have kidlets I go into “watch mouth” mode around them. I watch what I say around them period after the “I do what I want” incident.

    My good friend’s daughter told the teacher, “Whatever, whatever I do what I want. Auntie Emma says so.” 😐 Yeah, having a four year old quote South Park isn’t a good thing. 😀

  • 8. Emma Sanders  |  June 29, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    I don’t have children, but I have to curb my tongue when my niece is with me. I catch my husband and I eating at a restaurant and he’s cussing and I’m like, “Hello, there are children sitting at the table next to us.”

    “Shoot a monkey” is one my parents used to use. “Blasted” and “Oh my stars” are other good alternatives.

    I’ve seen my aunt and uncle hide their child away from any bad thing (reality). He wasn’t allowed to watch TV until they finally chilled when he was 12 years old. Now you can imagine how rebellious he is.

  • 9. Mel  |  June 30, 2008 at 10:23 pm

    Emma P-That is hilarious. It may not have been at the time, but right now that is funny. Sadly, my kids won’t need an “aunt” to corrupt them. I can do that all by myself.

  • 10. Mel  |  June 30, 2008 at 10:25 pm

    Emma S- I’m sooo using “Shoot a Monkey”. And there the line is so thin with being a good/bad parent and being overprotective/too open parent. I’m not sure where the line is drawn, so that may be why I’m sure I’m not on the good. But who knows, my kids may turn out fine.

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