November 25, 2007 at 6:54 pm 4 comments

I realized I didn’t do a post about Thanksgiving. Heh. Anyway, my belief to forsake the holidays were solidified when I went shopping on Black Friday. Every year I’d usually wait until the last minute to shop. My money is always funny so I at least try to get my Mom and kids something. BF were the kids only, especially after going to Toys-R-Us. *shudder* I digress: Top Ten Signs You Love Your Kids

1. You go shopping on Black Friday.

2. You step foot in Toy-R-Us knowing it’ll be just as bad as Wally-Word on the first.

3. The moment you walk into the store you only say, “Holy Shit!!” and not turn around and run (for your life) in the other direction back to your car.

4. You actually head straight for the Hannah Montana stuff.

5. When you’ve placed the Hannah Montana stuff in your basket you don’t sob, you only whimper a little, because you know what’s going to happen.

6. You try to keep your hand from going back into the basket and throwing the HM stuff out of it, because you know for the next six months of your life, 180 days, you’ll be hearing The Best of Both Worlds on repeat.

7. You only consider opening the gift and getting rid of the blond wig, because you know there will be a fight to the death on who will get to wear it in your household. You can already hear, “MOM! He took it from me!!!”

8. You don’t buckle, you keep shopping and elbow you’re way through mountains of toys, and parents with psychotic expressions on their face when you get the LAST ______ toy. You know the new thing that creates utter chaos.

9. You actually smile when you see a toy the same size of you’re son knowing that if he doesn’t collapse in spasms when he sees,a cardiac arrest. Men are so easy to please.

10. You take your goods home and spend 2 hours wrapping it all, you break out the glass of wine because you need fortitude, you open your storage room only to be attacked by 4 spiders. You decide to just stuff the damn gifts in the cabinet, and you don’t even get mad when your crafty son opens one gift. You let him play with it, because you know on Christmas day there will be tears of joy, screams of ecstasy, wetting of pants from the pure excitement. Those 30 seconds are so worth everything else on this list.


Entry filed under: top ten signs.


4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Edie  |  November 26, 2007 at 3:36 am

    Mel, I spent 40 minutes in the check out line at Target on Black Friday. Sniff. This is the first and last time I’m doing this. Next year it’s going to be an online shopping Christmas.

  • 2. Mel  |  November 26, 2007 at 3:39 am

    Edie-I don’t see the appeal either.

    40 minutes? You beat me by ten minutes. If I wasn’t on the phone with my mother telling her to get the kids out of the house pronto I don’t think I would have waited that long. No more Black Friday for me, either.

  • 3. Allie Boniface  |  November 28, 2007 at 11:15 am

    Love this post!

  • 4. Mel  |  November 28, 2007 at 4:08 pm

    Thanks, Allie.

    Did you go out into the madness?

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