CONFESSIONS OF A ROMANCE WRITER

October 23, 2007 at 4:14 pm 13 comments

“And what’s romance? Usually, a nice little tale where you have everything As You Like It, where rain never wets your jacket and gnats never bite your nose and it’s always daisy-time.”
~D.H. Lawrence

This quote is a little condescending, but I think it fits perfectly with what I’m going to write about today. Here are the 14 things I must confess to:

1. Why for the love of Gob is Pride and Prejudice so popular? Honestly, it took me a year to finish it. (Why you ask would I continue to try to read a book I attest?)I’m a romance author right? I’m supposed to adore this book and tell every newbie writer they MUST read this work of literature. I wanted to gouge out my eyes every time I made myself open this book.

2. Romancing the Stone. . . Never seen it.

3. I’m Obsessed with The Princess Bride and it has nothing to do with being a writer.

4. I do not eat bon-bons. I don’t even know what they are.

5. I attest the word writhe. I cringe when I read this word. Not every romance writer uses this word. (Thank you)

6. I wear boxers and a wife beater when I write. Not a robe and bunny slippers.

7. Valentine’s Day should be wiped from existence.

8. As with number 1 Jane Eyre (sp?) made me twitch.

9. I do not research my sex scenes.

10. My life isn’t romantic at all. There is no one great love in my life. You’d never see as my dedication “To the real hero of my life.” I’m really a Grinch and Gob help the man who falls in love with my cynical, quirky, smart assiness self(i know not a real word).

11. As with number 10 my life is far from romantic. The last guy to hit on me was grayish, legless and could have been older than my grandfather.

12. Marriage. The word alone makes me break out in a sweat.

13. After re-reading my list I can easily be a heroine in a romance novel.

14. I’m doomed.

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Entry filed under: confessions, romance, writer.

GEMS OF WISDOM SCHOOL, FECES, AND DESPERATION

13 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jennifer Elbaum  |  October 23, 2007 at 6:03 pm

    ROFLMAO

    GREAT LIST!

    love numbers 13 & 14

  • 2. Mel  |  October 23, 2007 at 6:18 pm

    Yesterday I decided I should be honest and break a few myths about being a romance author.

  • 3. raine  |  October 24, 2007 at 5:20 am

    Lol!

    If it’s any consolation, I don’t know any romance writer who DOES fit all the criteria.
    (But fwiw, give Romancing The Stone a look-see…it’s really good). 😉

    And btw…I think your description of yourself would make a FABULOUS romance heroine!!

  • 4. Mel  |  October 24, 2007 at 5:16 pm

    Raine-I’m a romance novel waiting to happen.

    And I think I will watch Romancing the Stone. The plot sounds interesting.

  • 5. Jamie Leigh Hansen  |  October 24, 2007 at 10:20 pm

    Hi Mel,
    Sorry I missed the day you stopped by my site. I also finally picked up On Writing yesterday, though I’m only about half way through. It cracks me up how often he mentions shitting…

    Love your list. I’ve never read Pride and Predjudice, I did enjoy Jane Eyre in high school but the book that made me want to gouge out my eyes was Main Street by Lewis Sinclair. Wow.

    I hope you do check out Romancing the Stone and write a blog about it. 🙂

  • 6. Mel  |  October 24, 2007 at 10:41 pm

    Jamie- It’s not shitting, it’s “push”.

    lol.

  • 7. bettye griffin  |  October 25, 2007 at 5:45 pm

    So what’s a wife beater (the clothing, I mean)?

  • 8. Mel  |  October 25, 2007 at 5:59 pm

    A wife beater is a tank top that is worn by males as an undershirt.

  • 9. Jamie  |  October 25, 2007 at 7:22 pm

    LOL I’d never heard it referred that way before. I even had to ask my mother in law if she’d ever said it. She hadn’t. LOL

  • 10. Mel  |  October 25, 2007 at 8:09 pm

    The name has a very seedy history. I think it started after MANY shows on COPS were the husband was wearing one and getting arrested for domestic violence. Hence, the negative name.

    If I was the PC type then I wouldn’t use the name. But then again I’m a rebel without a cause.

  • 11. Kate Diamond  |  October 26, 2007 at 3:03 pm

    Mwah ha ha. Loved it.

    I write romance in a nasty old bandanna. Often while drinking cheap beer.

    But I absolutely adore Pride and Prejudice. Might be one of my desert island books. I’m probably one of those “defend Darcy to the death” psychos. Maybe it’s the English teacher/English major in me….

    And you should see Romancing the Stone. The intro alone is worth it.

  • 12. Mel  |  October 26, 2007 at 5:20 pm

    Kate-I’m all for whatever works that get’s the words down. I’m keen to a glass of wine at night while writing.

    I’m not at all condemning people for loving Pride and Prejudice. I’m more amazed at their level of patience. I have none. I’m founded in generation X i.e. instant gratificaton generation.

    Also the more I think about the more I’m going to go in search of Romancing the Stone. It may be hard. I think it came out when I was 4. But then again I found Back to the Future.

  • 13. Edie  |  October 27, 2007 at 3:12 pm

    So funny, Mel. I consider myself a romance writer, but I don’t fit any prototypes either. In fact, my last two books are more mainstream with romantic elements. It suits me better.

    Love Romancing the Stone. 🙂

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