FEAR OF THE BLANK PAGE

September 8, 2007 at 4:05 pm 2 comments

A few days ago when I decided I needed objectivity with I SAID NEVER I searched through my story ideas (word docs that had a paragraph or one chapter of a story there are millions of these) and picked one. I picked the one germ of a story idea that interested me the most. And as I re-read what I wrote ages ago a fear paralyzed me. Strange, because I just churned out 70k + words, you’d think I know what to do.
But as I’m staring at the words I’d written I’ve some how forgotten how to write. How to let my pants i.e. imagination sprout wings and go for it. I now have all this white space when not more than a week ago I had thousands of words to play with, to add and subtract to, to rewrite and polish.

The more I stare at the words vs. white space I now have no idea what the hell I’m doing. And why I’m doing it. And who told me I can do this. And realizing me, I, no one else, am the one who has to fill up this blank page with coherent words.

You have got to be kidding me.

At this point I reassess why I write. I ask myself do I really want to do this. I try to scrounge up the courage to put my hands over the keyboard telling myself I’ve done this before, I can create another miracle and act like I know what I’m doing.

I AM NOT A FRAUD.

Then I let myself get caught up with the character’s and their story, what I think they need to learn and then it all comes back to me, much like what childbirth is really like the first time you get a real labor pain. It’ll be fine, because I’ve convinced myself that I’m a teller of tall tales, lies, I’m a great writer, and what not. I’m a writer and that’s what I do. I write and it’s the only thing besides being a mother I know how to do.

Of course when I get to the middle I’ll come back to read this post and laugh my ass off.

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Entry filed under: inspiration, WIP, writing woes.

IT’S FRIDAY AND THANK YOU GOD! THE REALIZATION

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. raine  |  September 8, 2007 at 11:30 pm

    You’re right.
    That blank page can be very intimidating.
    But you’ve got a handle on it if you know who are you are and why you’re doing this.
    And you do. 😉

  • 2. Mel  |  September 9, 2007 at 3:48 am

    There’s a rumor the blank page is the number one reason writer’s stop writing not rejections or poor sales.

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